Friendship

                                                                                                                                       

               Friendship is one of those things in life that I don't think we fully comprehend, but one that each of us desires and needs for support, companionship, and fulfillment. There is an old adage that states, “Friends will come and go".  This is a complete and true statement in my opinion.  As you live your life, you are constantly changing. With each new experience and more education, your likes and dislikes continue to develop.  

       The first friends in your life are your parents. Of course, they are also your first teachers. Parents actually teach you about friendship without realizing it. The first few years of your life are ones of nourishment and growth. While your priority is getting fed, loved, and cleanliness, you are actually learning about friendship at the same time. During every moment that you are awake, subconsciously, you are absorbing how your parents interact with each other, family members, and their friends. Children have this uncanny ability to absorb everything in and about their surroundings. They also hear everything to; even when you think they are asleep. Remember, it's not always the words you are using; it's the tone that is making an impression. Besides your parents, siblings are included in your first friends. They are your models on how to get along with others. Brothers and sisters teach each other what is acceptable behavior towards your cohorts. You learn very quickly what you can get away with and what may get you into deep trouble.  

          Elementary school is your next experience with friendship. On that first day of school there will usually be at least one of your friends from the neighborhood in class with you.  It's not unusual to come home after school proclaiming that you have a new best friend. After spending the day in a room full of students like yourself, you will find someone to attach yourself to, in order to feel a connection. It's like a safety mechanism that is hardwired into our genes. I think, as human beings, we need to feel the security of interaction with someone, maybe someone different from us, but someone who shares our values and beliefs. Take a close look at the friends you now have. I doubt that you are close with someone who is lacking in the similar beliefs and values that you believe in. Don't get me wrong. It is not to say that you may not be acquainted with, work with, or even live with someone with very different beliefs. You may, but usually that is for a short term.  It's just not likely.

       Friends are those whom, you learn to be close to, through the constant interaction that evolves from being in the same school, taking the same classes, and the communication that transpires during that time. For example, I had a best friend in elementary school. We did everything together. Then my parents moved us to a new county, new school. My friend and I tried to stay in touch, but eventually we stopped. Our lives took different paths, we each grew up, married, had children. Now after all these years, we have reconnected through the Internet and now share experiences about our grandchildren. We don't live in the same vicinity any more, but through modern technology, continue our friendship today.

                Our first experiences with pain and betrayal are usually thrust upon us by our friends. High school is an environment ripe with emotions and misunderstanding. False communication and a very diverse culture is all under one roof. Cliques, friends, enemies, authority, are all components of a perfect storm. Now, add teenage hormones, it's a miracle anyone survives their high school years. There appears to be multiple views of high school, those who love it and those who think that it was the worst time of their lives. Each one of us possesses the choice to make our experiences, any of them, pleasant and positive, or horrendous and negative. I won't try to say that the high school years aren't difficult, more for some than others. Peer pressure has more influence during this time than anyone wants to admit.

       As a parent, you are trying so hard to continue the foundation that you've been building for your child as they have grown. The hours spent working to instill the values and morals that are helping to build your child's character, in order for them to succeed in their adult life. And then, in a blink of your eye, a person whom your child has known for maybe a week, or so it seems, is ruling their thoughts and actions. While there are those who influence in a positive manner, it just seems to be those who are influencing negatively, that your child wants to emulate. You forget that they are searching to find themselves during this time. As a parent, you are desperately trying to hold on and protect your child from any pain and suffering. Sometimes it is better to let them discover the painful truth of a situation, in order for them to grow and learn from it. This is one of the most difficult times in the parent-child relationship.

                   

                   

      

Bullying

             You would think that in this day and age we would have evolved to a higher level. It is not  unusual to read or hear on the news about some one's child being bullied at school, on the bus, or on the playground. What amazes me is the amount of bullying that is going on in the work place.
There are numerous blogs about bullying. There are multiple Internet sites full of information. Occasionally, you may even see or hear about it in the media. Yet bullying seems to be almost nonexistent on government information sites or in the laws. Harassment pops right up, clearly explaining what that constitutes. Bullying by your employer's representatives or even coworkers, if it is there, is hidden or openly denied as not considered harassment. My hope is that our legislators will realize that this does deserve to be looked into, discussed, and acted upon. No one should have to endure bullying in the workplace at any level.
            There are those that will say, " You just need to have a thick skin", or " It makes you stronger", they are wrong. It is a form of abuse and needs to stop. We were not put on this earth to cause harm to another. That is not to say we don't need constructive criticism at times. We do. The objective is constructive. Bullying is not constructive in any form. It has a powerful affect on the person receiving it and may alter that person's performance at work, home and in the community. Needless to say, there will be a far reaching ripple effect causing who knows what and how far. That effect can only be measured in time.
         The sad reality is that the person doing the bullying is really insecure and just trying to make themselves more powerful at the expense of another human being. Why do we feel the need? Isn't bullying just a verbal form of rape? The act of rape is about power, isn't that what bullying is too? My hope is that you have learned from your family that you don't need to abuse someone in order to make yourselves feel more important. That by our example and our faith in God, you have learned that it is better to admit an insecurity, to yourself honestly, and find a resolution that will enable you to feel more secure in yourself, without causing someone harm.