Friendship

                                                                                                                                       

               Friendship is one of those things in life that I don't think we fully comprehend, but one that each of us desires and needs for support, companionship, and fulfillment. There is an old adage that states, “Friends will come and go".  This is a complete and true statement in my opinion.  As you live your life, you are constantly changing. With each new experience and more education, your likes and dislikes continue to develop.  

       The first friends in your life are your parents. Of course, they are also your first teachers. Parents actually teach you about friendship without realizing it. The first few years of your life are ones of nourishment and growth. While your priority is getting fed, loved, and cleanliness, you are actually learning about friendship at the same time. During every moment that you are awake, subconsciously, you are absorbing how your parents interact with each other, family members, and their friends. Children have this uncanny ability to absorb everything in and about their surroundings. They also hear everything to; even when you think they are asleep. Remember, it's not always the words you are using; it's the tone that is making an impression. Besides your parents, siblings are included in your first friends. They are your models on how to get along with others. Brothers and sisters teach each other what is acceptable behavior towards your cohorts. You learn very quickly what you can get away with and what may get you into deep trouble.  

          Elementary school is your next experience with friendship. On that first day of school there will usually be at least one of your friends from the neighborhood in class with you.  It's not unusual to come home after school proclaiming that you have a new best friend. After spending the day in a room full of students like yourself, you will find someone to attach yourself to, in order to feel a connection. It's like a safety mechanism that is hardwired into our genes. I think, as human beings, we need to feel the security of interaction with someone, maybe someone different from us, but someone who shares our values and beliefs. Take a close look at the friends you now have. I doubt that you are close with someone who is lacking in the similar beliefs and values that you believe in. Don't get me wrong. It is not to say that you may not be acquainted with, work with, or even live with someone with very different beliefs. You may, but usually that is for a short term.  It's just not likely.

       Friends are those whom, you learn to be close to, through the constant interaction that evolves from being in the same school, taking the same classes, and the communication that transpires during that time. For example, I had a best friend in elementary school. We did everything together. Then my parents moved us to a new county, new school. My friend and I tried to stay in touch, but eventually we stopped. Our lives took different paths, we each grew up, married, had children. Now after all these years, we have reconnected through the Internet and now share experiences about our grandchildren. We don't live in the same vicinity any more, but through modern technology, continue our friendship today.

                Our first experiences with pain and betrayal are usually thrust upon us by our friends. High school is an environment ripe with emotions and misunderstanding. False communication and a very diverse culture is all under one roof. Cliques, friends, enemies, authority, are all components of a perfect storm. Now, add teenage hormones, it's a miracle anyone survives their high school years. There appears to be multiple views of high school, those who love it and those who think that it was the worst time of their lives. Each one of us possesses the choice to make our experiences, any of them, pleasant and positive, or horrendous and negative. I won't try to say that the high school years aren't difficult, more for some than others. Peer pressure has more influence during this time than anyone wants to admit.

       As a parent, you are trying so hard to continue the foundation that you've been building for your child as they have grown. The hours spent working to instill the values and morals that are helping to build your child's character, in order for them to succeed in their adult life. And then, in a blink of your eye, a person whom your child has known for maybe a week, or so it seems, is ruling their thoughts and actions. While there are those who influence in a positive manner, it just seems to be those who are influencing negatively, that your child wants to emulate. You forget that they are searching to find themselves during this time. As a parent, you are desperately trying to hold on and protect your child from any pain and suffering. Sometimes it is better to let them discover the painful truth of a situation, in order for them to grow and learn from it. This is one of the most difficult times in the parent-child relationship.