Happy Birthday Daddy

Happy Birthday Daddy,
      Today you would have celebrated your 87th birthday. What a party that could have been. I miss you so much. Your sense of humor, your gentle smacks on the back of my head- love taps. When I watch NCIS, I think somehow Gibbs learned from you. I will never forget my avocado can opener that you gave me for Christmas. When I opened the box and saw a manual can opener and an avocado, both of our faces were probably priceless. I know yours was. Christmas shopping just hasn't quite been the same without you.  The kids have all grown but I know that we would still shop for their gifts together if we could.
       They say grief gets better with time. They are wrong. It doesn't get better, it's just different. You've been gone 20 years and the tears come flooding without a warning on your birthday, the day you passed, and sometimes when I remember something you said or did. While I understand why you smoked, I am still angry that you did. I have felt so cheated of the time that we could have spent together and it amazes me how much I miss the sound of your voice, your laughter.
        Dad, I know you held Freddie in the car when he had his car accident. The officer that came to pick me up told me that they were all amazed that he was alive and with barely a scratch. Thank you so much. I'm pretty sure you were with me during mine also. I had a feeling of being surrounded by a cloud protecting me and giving me the strength to keep my car from veering across the center line after I was hit. I know your spirit is with us.
        You and Poppy would be so proud of Mike. He is doing what he loves and is really happy. I am so proud of him too. We talk frequently, just wish I could see him more often. Thank God for the internet. I say this like you don't know what he's doing, but I know that you are with him too. Please watch over him during hurricane Sandy.
          Cindy needs you more than ever. Please be with her during this trial. I can't be up there and she can be pretty stubborn, but I have faith that you will help her through.
          Three of your grandchildren are grown with families of their own and two are in their
early college years, still figuring out who they are. Think we ever really know who we are? Please keep watch over them.
          Your great grandchildren are just incredible. Not only are they beautiful, but smart and kind and loving. Their parents are really doing a great job in raising them. I made sure to pass on the same advice that you gave me" Take the time to play and be with your kids. When they grow up they won't care whether their house was spotless, but they will remember that you took the time to play and be with them!"
       Mom moved to a condo. It was a very difficult decision for her, but with her health problems it was a good choice. I am trying to keep my promise to you but there are times when I feel like I'm letting you down. I'm sorry.  She is fighting hard to keep her independence and we are all trying to support her the best we can.
Happy Birthday,
I love you so much Daddy and always will!