Being a Parent

       Having a child changes your life forever.  That is just the plain truth.  Changes occur to your body, to your heart, to your feelings, to every aspect of your life. Emotions run rampant from the moment of conception (even before you are aware), through the birth of your child and for the rest of your life. Advice comes in all forms, shapes, and sizes. Some good, some not so good, though I truly believe, all is given with the best intentions.

       When you decide upon your career, you plan and plot the best strategy and path to help you reach your desired goal. Years of education are sought after to help you succeed in your career path. Once obtained, you continue to advance through continuing education to stay abreast of all the changes and updates in technology in your field. What do you need to become a parent? Most of the time all you need is to have sex. Today, even that is not necessary!

     We spend billions of dollars on sex education each year to teach our youth about contraception. What do we spend on teaching them about parenting, what is involved, how to be a good one?  Any new piece of technology you purchase comes with an owner’s manual. Have you ever seen one of those in new parent kits given out by hospitals? NO!  

     You don’t get a manual with your child because there aren't  two people on this earth that completely agree on how to raise your child. Raising your children is a journey that you must take alone. That is not to say you won’t have support- spouse, family, friends, church, even books. Ultimately, though, this is one journey that you and your children embrace together. They look to you for answers and for their foundation of values; you wander through the forest scared to death and slowly learn to follow your instincts, each step a little longer than the last. Just when you think you might have figured things out and start to feel some comfort, they grow up and become adults. Phase two of your journey begins, and once again, you are in the forest, scared, searching for answers and trying desperately to find your way again.                           

     Life has such a sense of humor! The third phase of your journey begins with the birth of your grandchildren. Yet again, you wander in the forest. No signs with arrows pointing the correct direction. Instead of strong hard ground under your feet, you walk on a tightrope across deep ravines. Multiple children, all of whom were raised with the same value set, now parents themselves, have unique individual perceptions of child rearing. Good luck grandparents. My philosophy has always been to tell my grandchildren to, “listen to your parents”. I may not agree with them but it is my job to support them and try, I do, to the best of my ability. I am not perfect, I wasn't  a perfect parent and I’m not the perfect grandparent! This much is true- I love my children and my grandchildren with every breath I take and will continue to do so even when my last breath is gone.

       My best advice for you, let’s start teaching our children the value of loving each other, the value of being educated and the value of continuing education (you are never too old to learn), the value of understanding that no one is perfect, except for God, the value of tolerance (not everyone learns the same way or in the same time frame), and most importantly, the value of forgiveness.  If I want to be remembered for anything at all, it is that I was never too old to be willing to give and accept forgiveness. Do the best you can, trust your instincts and know that you always have the opportunity to make things better.